JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
