Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
