so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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