I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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