So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
