I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
