I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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