you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
