i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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