Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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