Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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