Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize