i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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