We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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