Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
