I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize