it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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