That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
