She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
