i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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