I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize