whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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