I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
