I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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