We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
third nipple confirmed
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
