I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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