Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
