I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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