I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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