dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
