If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
