If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
