he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
