508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize