Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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