Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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