So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize