It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
