I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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