She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
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