Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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