and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Randomize
