some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
