Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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