I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
