tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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