Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
