Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
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This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
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I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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