Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
