The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
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He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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