I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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