I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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