Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I am spending my child support on dildos
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
