I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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