so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
