I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The police scanner is talking about you again....
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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