omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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