i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
